One way to convert the desire associated with hope to strategies associated with success is to notice words you use and to rewrite your personal storyline.

By paying attention to our words, we can become more conscious of the story we’re telling ourselves … whether it’s one of hope or despair, success or failure.

Our words and storylines open potential for becoming more focussed and committed to our goals, rather than hoping for success and preparing excuses for possible setbacks.

Though plans and preparation may not guarantee success, they create the language and script for living our story of success.

These words remind me that while “hope” may inspire dreams, invigorate vision and spark ambition, it’s not a strategy.  Hope is not a plan, nor a deliberate thought process associated with action that moves us closer to our goals.  

When working with Max, a client who made a “statement of hope,” I asked: “Max, what might be in the way of you achieving the success you hope for?”

After thought he said: “other things may interrupt, or get in the way.”  He went on.  “I may, for example, have to help someone else with their job, or have to respond to some trouble my team gets in …. you know, something they weren’t prepared for or didn’t plan.” 

Our language tells us a lot about how we view our circumstances.  When I asked Max what he noticed as he reflected on his own words, he paused.  “They’re excuses .  Even worse, they’re excuses in the making.”  He said.

Max noticed he already was giving himself a way out from achieving his goal.  In fact, he was creating what appeared very legitimate, honorable ways out.  He may even look like a hero who sacrificed his own goal achievement for the benefit of something or someone else.  He also noticed that he was dividing his attention between competing objectives.

Not only was this an insightful self-observation and awareness, it was a courageous declaration.  It enabled him to look closer at behaviors that both supported and interfered with goal achievement.  He was able to see himself planning for excuses as much as he was planning for success.

With this awareness, Max planned to self-correct and direct more attention and energy toward achieving his goals.

–  Terrence TJ Kelly    Executive Leadership Coach;  Vistage Jacksonville Florida

You know the level of confidence I’m speaking about.  In fact, you may recognize it by the chill in your bones; the hair on your neck; or the goosebumps on your arms.

Where does it come from?  How do you develop it?

Rather than paralyzed with over analysis or uncertain decision-making, leaders with unconditional confidence move forward with focus, clarity, balance and the belief they will be okay in the face of unexpected conditions and outcomes.

Such leaders understand there is no certainty as they pursue goals and move toward their overall vision.  They feel prepared and trust they will adapt and adjust to whatever the next step may be.

Nik Wallenda, a 33 year old husband and father of three, brings this to public attention as the  7th generation daredevil talks about his life, and his dream to walk a high-wire from the US to Canada over the horseshoe rim of Niagara Falls this summer.  His stunt, as with all the Wallenda’s ariel feats, is without a net.  For generations, his family has lived with triumph and tragic deaths.

If you’re curious about unconditional confidence listen to interviews with Nik Wallenda.  I’ve watched several.  Most recently I watched a 15 minuter interview that aired March 20, 2012 on HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel.  Here is a clip that’s less than 2 minutes:  HBO Real Sports.  It mentions preparation, the first step, balance and focus.

His first step, is clearly a step of unconditional confidence.

  What first step are you waiting to take?

–  Terrence TJ Kelly   Executive Leadership Coach  Vistage Jacksonville Florida

Being “smart” means having the functional knowledge and competency in the major business disciplines like: finance, operation, sales, customer relations, etc.  It’s knowing the nuts and bolts of business and how they should work in the context of your business model.

Understanding the nuts and bolts of business, however, is not the same as making those parts come to life in real-time practice and execution.  Having the working parts come together in an effective and efficient manner is where leadership and the health of an organization play an important role.

The “health” of an organization is the foundation upon which “smart” organizations operate.  According to Pat, healthy organizations have team cohesion and organizational clarity.  He further suggest the following are signs of “healthy” organizations:  minimal politics, minimal confusion, high productivity, low turnover among top employees, and high morale.

As a leadership coach, I further believe each member of the leadership team must bring their healthiest leadership character and intentions to the team.  Otherwise, team health will be compromised.  It’s like the old adage: it takes only one bad apple to spoil the bushel.

Terrence TJ Kelly    Executive Leadership Coach;  Vistage Jacksonville Florida

Should she lean into a strategic alliance and be absorbed by a larger business partner?

– Or –

Should her company hold on to their independence and hope their differentiation will be seen and appreciated enough to survive in an overcrowded, highly competitive market?

- Or -

… ?    … ?    … ?    … ?    … ?    … ?    … ?

During the past 16 years of building this company, Donna made a lot of difficult decisions.  Her company was now generating over $45 million in annual revenue and was profitable.  Of all the tough decisions she had made, this one seemed to carried the weight of survival.  In the early days she made plenty of make-or-break decisions.  But the weight of this decision was different.  It was now 16 years later.  It seemed more complicated.  There were so many more employees and families to think about.

That was the whole point.  She was in a different place and there were more considerations weighing on her mind and heart.

She was searching for somewhere to turn.  A place for honest, unbiased perspective.  She had plenty of friends, but they really didn’t understand her business nor her sense of personal responsibility.  She had her executive team, but their judgement was influenced by the security of their own careers.  She had some private investors, but their perspective would be clouded by the security of their investment and how they might leverage their position to a higher ROI.

These were all bright people and great resources.  Unfortunately, they all had competing interests.

What she really needed and wanted was an objective resource … a peer group where she could work through her most confidential issues and receive uncontaminated feedback.

No matter what you call it, e.g. Peer Group; Master Mind Group; Think Tank; Learning Circle; Thought Partners; etc. it may be one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Terrence “TJ” Kelly,  Executive Leadership Coach; Vistage Jacksonville Florida

Often I listen as executives work through leadership challenges associated with communications and meetings.  Issues like needing to communicate more; having the right number and type of meetings; motivating people to arrive on time; involving people in meetings when they’re on the road or away from the office; keeping meetings moving and on task; etc.

Recently I read an article by Rachel Emma Silverman that appeared in the WSJ.  I thought it might trigger some meeting ideas that may work for you.  One caution … whatever change you may want to make, self-assess your commitment to sustaining the change and making it a habit rather than a one-time event.  And, consider whether your decision to change “meeting behaviors” supports or interfere with your culture.

No More Angling for the Best Seat; More Meetings Are Stand-Up Jobs: Companies Ban Sitting to Speed Things Up; Ralph the Chicken Decides Next Speaker

By: Rachel Emma Silverman

Atomic Object, a Grand Rapids, Mich., software-development firm, holds company meetings first thing in the morning.  Employees follow strict rules: Attendance is mandatory, nonwork chitchat is kept to a minimum and, above all, … (read more)

–  Terrence “TJ” Kelly

High performing executives and leaders sometimes look like problem solving magnets. 

As recognized problem solvers, they seem to attract problems from all directions.

The most skilled problem solvers understand the importance of taking time to clearly define the problem and put it in writing before they begin with solutions.  This practice creates context for understanding the problem; ensures you are working the “right” problem; and, opens possibilities for more innovative solutions.  It also helps manage difficult conversations that may be associated with the solution.

There are two common types of problem statements.  Those that are enabling/open and those that are disabling/closed.  Putting the problem statement in writing helps you determine which you have.

Enabling problem statements are open to many solutions.

Disabling problem statements are already tied to a solution and thereby limit opportunities for creative insight and multiple solutions.  A disabling problem statement might look like this:

We need to increase sales by having our Sales Reps write detailed call reports on a more timely basis.

If the change you want is more revenue, then this problem statement is limited and focused on only two possible solutions.  One is getting more detailed call reports.  The other is getting more timely call reports.

While these outcomes may be valuable, the problem-solving energy and attention turns to how you get your sales people to write more detailed and timely call reports, rather than how to increase revenue.

Remember, the problem you name in your problem statement is what captures your attention.  It directs your focus.  It creates the foundation for your problem solving conversations.  It becomes the problem you solve.

Terrence “TJ” Kelly

It’s not always the content itself.  It’s something else.

Sure, the content of the problem you’re discussing has a bearing.  So does the urgency around reaching agreement.  But there is another factor, less tangible, that adds weight to the conversations.

So, what is it?

Perhaps it’s the emotional content, or your personal self-image … the image you have that helps you define your identity.  Or, perhaps it’s both.

In their book Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, address how our identity may feel threatened as we enter certain conversations.  They suggest the overwhelming difficulty and mounting anxiety is connected not only with facing another party in conversation, but it’s associated with having to face ourselves, as well.  It has the potential of throwing us off balance and interfering with how we see ourselves in the world.

When you think about it, it’s quite unsettling when you feel vulnerable and have your sense of self threatened … to wonder whether you really are who you think, or hope to be.

Stone, et al, identify three core identities they commonly find threatened.  They include: our sense of competency; our sense of being a good person; and, our sense of being worthy of love.

As an executive & leadership coach, I see the “competency identity” frequently threatened.  It takes many forms.  Leaders may feel challenged about the quality of their organization’s work; the value of the work; its timeliness; or delivery in accordance with the terms of their agreements.  Whatever it is, there may be a feeling of being under attack and having both your competency and integrity threatened.  Under this pressure, it’s easy to feel off balance and overwhelmed with added weight heaped on an already tough conversation.

One of the methods Stone, et al. suggest for maintaining balance is to understand where you feel particularly sensitive and vulnerable.  Then, be honest with yourself about your true identity.  Avoid the trap of an “all-or-nothing” belief.  In their words, “All-or-nothing identities are about as sturdy as a two-legged stool.”

Turning to Stone’s work, I remind clients they have alternatives to viewing themselves as either ALL one thing, or ALL the other.

With clear and positive intentions around what is most important; a track record of success; and well grounded information, you can be confident about who you are; your high level of competence; and, leave an open space for learning and improving.  You can approach those tough conversations with clear purpose, positive intentions, confidence, integrity and openness to build on your true identity.

–  Terrence “TJ” Kelly

By its very nature, accountability is associated with being responsible for something.  It’s taking ownership for behavior; performance; and results.  It’s a choice.  It applies to both success and set-backs.

From a cultural standpoint, accountability may be viewed as the mindset of the people inside the organization.  It represents an attitude that drives how things get done; how people work with one another; and, how their behaviors align with their stated intentions.  It’s something you choose to do, rather than are made to do.

Employees … even members of leadership teams complain that their bosses should “make people be accountable.”  That mindset invites a punitive climate filled with fear and low productivity rather than an atmosphere of empowerment.  Most organizations don’t intentionally hire 2 year olds.  They typically strive to hire fully functioning adults who are thought to be mature and responsible.  Responsible adults have choices and understand consequences.

The CEO and leadership team share responsibility for creating an atmosphere and environment which fosters individual responsibility and accountability.  It’s their responsibility to communicate the purpose of the organization; to set clear direction; and, to establish well defined goals and objectives.  This contributes to an atmosphere of empowerment.  When that happens, people inside the organization understand how their roles make a difference; how they contribute to delivering result; and how they support the company’s purpose.  They can then accept ownership of their roles and choose to be accountable for their behavior.

So accountability starts with each of us.  It starts with our intentions; with our sense of self; our desire to make a positive difference; our ability to be responsible for our successes and our setbacks.

If you want to be part of a high performing company, help create an accountability culture.

* Be an active, contributing part.

* Be accountable to yourselves.

* Be accountable to one another.

* Be accountable to the results you are working toward … as an individual, a teammate, a company.

* Be an accountability partner and help one another practice and model accountable behavior rather than blame; finger-point; and complain behind one another’s back.

In so doing, you will build a culture that chooses to be accountable from the ground up, rather than a culture that tries to make people be accountable from the top down.

–  Terrence “TJ” Kelly